So, let’s be real: I’m not at my most creative right now.
In my defense, it’s been a wild past few months. I’m less than a month from my debut book release, my family just wrangled an inter-state move (hello, my beloved Massachusetts, I have missed you!!!), and I’ve gone fully back to the drawing board for the draft and proposal for my second book.
Back in January, I set a goal for myself to pitch 25 articles or essays. When I was at my most ~prolific, back in 2020-2021, I was pitching two or three pieces a week, and getting more work published than I ever had. Then I hit a bit of a creative wall on one-shot articles when I started revisions on Rules for Ghosting to prep it for submission, and since then, I’ve been pitching in trickles…and barely getting nibbles. To be clear, this is an industry-wide issue; the freelance field is a hot mess right now with editors being fired left and right, budgets being slashed, and multiple outlets closing up shop. TL;DR, it’s no fun out there! As of mid-July, I’ve pitched 6 out of my planned 25 pieces…and placed exactly zero of them. The last one I sent was back in March.
It’s hard to keep putting yourself out there when no one responds. Anyone who’s ever queried a book or a book proposal — or gone out on submission with a finished manuscript — knows exactly how frustrating it is to put part of yourself into a pitch or a project and get only silence in response.
The most common advice you’ll get (and advice that I very hypocritically continue to give to others) is to distract yourself from the silence by starting something new. But it’s hard to connect to a new project when your heart is still attached to the original one, and it can be harder still to commit to showing up to working on it when the “what’s the point when it doesn’t go anywhere?” energy is at its strongest. Planting seeds feels impossible when the harvest seems a thousand years away.
This reluctance to show up and engage with new projects feels particularly relevant right now. When I look at my social media feeds and the conversations happening around the election, I see renewed enthusiasm and cautious optimism for a new nominee (thanks for that, at least, Joseph, but hopefully we’ll still see you in the Hague) — but just as frequently, I see a continued determination not to engage. To let perfect be the enemy of good, to forget, as so many do, that electoral politics are public transportation, not a company car.
We’re all on the train together, and even if the driver isn’t going exactly along the route we want, we at least want to know they won’t drive us off the nearest cliff into a pit of lava. And snakes. Lava snakes.
Showing up is hard. Showing up is even harder when something you care about, something you’ve put your heart and soul into, something that’s breaking your heart, seems like it’s been ignored, dismissed, or thrown aside.
But art does not create itself. And change doesn’t happen through inaction. We need to show up. We need to use our voices — full of rage, full of heartbreak, full of grief, full of determination and stubbornness and a refusal to let the train run off the tracks and over the cliff, even if it doesn’t make every stop we want.
Creatives can shape the course of the world, in large ways and small. We write letters and essays and poetry that touch hearts and change minds. We create art that turns doomscrolling into action. We make food that nourishes protesters and poll workers and canvassers, we organize the campaigns and project plans and community mobilization events that get people — digitally, vocally, or directly out on the sidewalks and streets — moving, we tell the stories that humanize and motivate and elevate the truths that will break through the noise of misinformation and anger and despair.
But it only happens if we show up.
When I started this newsletter back in January, I was struggling to find bright spots in what felt like constant, unending grief. And honestly, I’m still struggling. My original commitment, when I started, was to publish twice a month — a general letter like this, and then a monthly Creativity Q+A. Instead, I’ve used the Creativity Q+A letters as an excuse to fall off the wagon on using my own voice. I love those interviews — we’ve got one coming out next week that I’m so excited — but I started with a plan to use my own creative work for good, and I haven’t been holding up my end of the deal.
So this is me, recommitting. To showing up for this newsletter, for showing up in the world, for pushing past the radio silence and putting my voice out there, for hosting letter-writing parties and getting out the vote and amplifying the causes I care about in creative, humanizing, stubborn-as-hell ways.
How about you?
questions on creating for good
Where is the silence the loudest?
How is your motivation to create impacted by a lack of feedback, responsiveness, or validation? What is it about the response you’re looking to hear that would make a difference in what you do next? How much of what you create, and what you do in the world, is shaped by how you believe others will respond?
How can you turn silence into sound?
How are you rallying your inner circle to show up for you — and how are you showing up for your community through your work, your words, or your presence? How are you asking for what you need, and giving back in response? Where are the connection points that can help you re-light your creative spark?
How are you showing up?
What are you doing to put your values into action? How is your creative spirit — the stories you’re telling, the art you’re creating, the songs you’re writing, the music you’re arranging, the magic you make every day — connecting your heart to your voice to the causes you care about? What change do you want to see in the world, and how can your creative work move you toward making that change a reality?
updates from shelly
We’re less than a month away from Rules for Ghosting hitting shelves, and things! Are! Happening!
Tickets are still very much available for the book launch event at Bluestockings Bookstore in NYC! I’ll be chatting all things gays and ghosts with the brilliant and wonderful Haley Jakobson, and the price of your ticket can be put toward a copy of Rules for Ghosting on site.
The Rules for Ghosting audiobook was recorded last month, and I am so excited about it! I also got to go into the PRH studio to record my author’s note, which was super fun and totally unexpected. Look how cute I was!
Signed preorders are happening! I’ve partnered with The Bookloft, my amazing local bookstore here in the beautiful Berkshires, to sign copies of Rules for Ghosting ordered through their site. The Bookloft has been a community icon for 50 years and needs our support, so this is a great place to get your copy if you haven’t already! (Plus, preorders help show publishers that I’m worth investing in, and that lets me write more books. Which would be great!)
Win a finished copy of Rules for Ghosting! Goodreads is running a giveaway until August 14, and you can enter to win one of 15 finished copies of Rules for Ghosting. For the record, I haven’t even gotten my hands on a finished copy, so this is a treat! (Also, if you haven’t already, please add Rules for Ghosting to your shelf on Goodreads — that also helps show publishers that they should let me write more books! I would love to get to 15k adds before pub day. Can we make it happen?)
I can’t wait for Rules for Ghosting to be out in the world, and I’m excited to send a few more letters than usual over the next few weeks as we get closer to pub day. Stay tuned!
resources, links, and further reading
spotlight on: showing up for the work
read:
“Creative activism 101: An antidote to despair” (ian mcintyre for The Commons Social Change Library) (a repeat from last time, but good enough that I think everyone should read it again)
donate: re:power